Saturday, September 15

Clearing it up.

Many people have been writing me worried if Claralynne is alright. I'm sorry I wasn't more clear about that. I wrote the blog shortly after we returned from the ER. In the past writing things down has been therapeutic and I was in desperate need of some peace of mind. I figured writing it down would help me sort it out, let people know what happened, and maybe serve as a warning to many of my friends with small children. Claralynne was peachy keen just a few moments after the ambulance arrived. However if I had been alone, things surely would not have turned out so well. I was a lifeguard for three years. Yet in such desperation I could not, for the life of me, recall any of my infant resuscitation training. All I could think to do was swat her on the back while she stood there gasping. Thank heavens Nate knew to face her down wards and hit her between the shoulder blades. So for you Mom's out there I know now from personal experience that babies do indeed choke, and you can be the best Mom in the world, it wont help you save your child. I printed out a page with the instructions for infant resuscitation on it and stuck it to my fridge. I would urge all of you to do the same, especially if you are like me and tend to panic. I pray that this never happens to me or anyone again, but there are no guarantees, and you can never be too prepared. Thank you all for being so wonderful. Be safe.

Wednesday, September 12

I don't know what to title this. Fear maybe, raw fear.

Sitting down in the living room to "You've got Mail" and Hamburger Helper.
We hear a Wheez, coming from the kitched.
Wet wheezing.
Nate and I exchange unsure looks.
I go to see.
Baby is running out of the kitchen.
She falls choking and gaging.
I pull her up and smack her on the back a few times.
Scream for Nate.
She can't breathe.
He picks her up and faces her down.
Pounds her back, wet wheezing.
Face red.
Lips blue.
Trying to be calm he says "yes"
I panic to the phone and dial.
She's inhaling and can't exhale.
More wheezing, drool.
"CALL 911"! he yells, voice cracking.
" is yo...emerg-"?
"MY BABY IS CHOKING"! she...hoking on?
"... old is she"?
" stay on the phone...EMS a few minutes"
"Mam stay on the phone with me, EMS will be there...."

I can't get it out of my head. it just plays over and over, all I can hear is her gasping and choking. All I can see is her running out of the kitchen, desperate, looking for her Mommy to help her. I can't fight tears, I haven't stopped feeling like crying yet.

When the ambulance arrived they checked her up and down, listened to her lungs. Nothing came out when Nate did the Heimlich and got her breathing again. I dropped a piece of ice that broke a few minutes before she started choking, I thought maybe she got a hold of a piece off the floor. EMS said we should take her to Emergency and get ex rays of her lungs for any foreign bodies, also to see if anything was broken when Nate performed the Heimlich. He pounded her back pretty hard. The ex rays came out normal. She's asleep now. I hope Nathan and I will be able to.

What reminds me of you.

Everything beautiful, good and pink reminds me of my daughter
Rain reminds me of Nate
Hair straightners remind me of Heather
Drums remind me of Whitney
Nurses and a good jog remind me of my Mom
Guitars remind me of my Dad
Fire reminds me of Arthur
Divers remind me of Mary
Blogging reminds me of Makayla
Being bold reminds me of Jeremy
Jack Daniels reminds me of Cloie
Cameras remind me of Kira
Angels remind me of Destin
Backstreet boys Remind me of Lisa
Long hair reminds me of Megan and Kateka
Yoga reminds me of Terence
Riunite reminds me of Bridegette
Being strong reminds me of Emily
Nail Polish reminds me of Melissa
Cats remind me of Diane
Soccer reminds me of Megan
Nelly Furtado reminds me of Trisha

At least a stinky fart doesn't remind me of you ;o)