Thursday, December 13

"I just can't watch this!"

I'm having a hard time thinking of things to write about! We are all sick round here. What goes around the Coast Guard station, comes around here. It has for the last 3 years and I imagine it will continue to as long as Nate is working in a place with a bunch of guys living together 75% of the time. Those odds are worse than an elementary school I imagine. So every year when the stuff starts going around we usually get it. Claralynne had a fever all day. I have been a Mom for a little more than a year, yet I still must call my super duper nurse Mom when put in these situations, so she can tell me what to do. I didn't really know what would be the best medicine to give her. (I have a slew, one of the habits that comes from having nurse parents) I gave her Motrin in the end, which seemed to keep her comfortable. You could tell she was hurting, she was really snuggley, needing a lot of luvs, and laying her head down on our shoulders, which is something she doesn't usually do. It is so hard to watch your kids be sick, I nearly cried about 10 times today. Granted I am pregnant.

Crying on behalf of my sick child, reminds me of a home video my Mom can't watch. My little sister is about...I don't know...2 maybe, we got a new hamster for Christmas, and Heather is a little less than ginger while trying to give it luvs. Right before it happens on the video, as my my Mom watches you can see her gearing up for it, when my sisters lets out her sad little bitten cry, my Mom turns her head, her eyes welling up "Ohhh, I just can't watch this!". It happens every time! She is probably welling up just being reminded of the sad event while reading this. I never understood her until now, it is worse than getting hurt personally. I would rather stab myself in the leg than watch my baby hurt. You always blame yourself, no matter what happens, or how out of your hands it is, you always blame yourself. I am certain today my Mom can't watch the clip because she still feels guilty, like she could have prevented poor sis from rodent rage, which of course is just silly. Even still, I continue to feel like...well if I had just locked my poor helpless baby in the closet for the entire cold and flu season I could have spared her from stuffy fevered pain.