Saturday, February 23

Canine Conundrum

I wish I liked my dog more.

A few days ago I was feeling a bit sleepy, so I went upstairs to lay down. I didn't feel like falling asleep quite yet, so I pulled out some of my pregnancy books and fumbled through them. They got me wondering what was going on, what I was thinking, at this point in my pregnancy with Claralynne. So I dug out my journal. Apparently I was in Colorado visiting my family. There were so many funny little details I had forgotten, it was a riot wandering around in my pregnant brain from a year ago. One of the details I had forgotten was the anxiety I had felt leaving Chassis alone for so long. Nate went to a sea school, so we left her in the care of our neighbors who came to feed, water and let her out everyday. She stayed in the house alone pretty much the entire time. I recalled how guilt plagued me throughout my entire trip, it made me reminiscent of a time when I was desperately dependant on this clumsy canine. She is a real beauty, she looks at me sort of longingly sometimes, like she is thinking "don't you remember when I was your best friend?....I do" :( *puppy dog eyes*.

Reading through my journal you can hear my love for her, she really was my best friend and companion. When Nathan was gone on those long lonely weekends, I would go days without speaking to anyone, except my loyal dog...ugh, the memories turn my stomach even now.
I ponder to Nathan why I don't like her as much these days, he tells me "you don't need her anymore". He is right. I have Claralynne, and now that Nathan comes home everyday, together they fill up my once lonely heart that clung to my dog. I still have my lonely days, it isn't maddening though, I never feel I am on the edge, the edge of crying, the edge of loosing my mind. I just feel lonely enough to pick up the phone and call someone. It will be better when I can go outside, go to the park, or take a stroll with a friend. Winter here, is to summer in Texas. So we have come full circle. I am trying harder to like the dog.

Friday, February 22


BFP is the abreviation of my response when someone asks me how I am. I tell them "Big Fat and Pregnant!". ;)

Pictures taken today.
I am 26 weeks, or for those of you who don't speak pregnant 6 months.
Claralynne is 17 months, almost a year and a half!

Yo Gabba Gabba is Evil.

Does anyone else have to sit through this show? It is baby psychosis, she is always pleasant when watching this or Dora, or Diego...but oy, sometimes I feel I am in a psychedelic drug illusion. I really feel Yo Gaba Gaba is one of the most evil of all the Nick Jr. shows followed closely by Sponge Bob. I can't change it because Clara will throw a fit, so I just have to sit through it while taking care of things on the laptop. Brobee is the most evil, he creeps me out. Grr.
*Side note from the present, 6 months after I published this blog, today September 2, 2008. I have recieved more random responses from people I don't know on this post than any other post I have made. I don't know what about it is about it that is attracting tourists but, it intrigues me. Many responders have disagreed with how I feel about this show, it just creeps me out. It is obviously for children, I don't get it, but my kid does, so I leave it on because she enjoys it, and it is better for her to be watching something that can be beneficial if we are going to have T.V. time. I hope that if you come here and read this post that you will venture deeper into the blog and read other things I have written. This blog does not define me, or why I write.
Thank you, Aubrey

Thursday, February 21

Balded Boo Boo

When Nate got home today, I was a slug half conscious on the couch. We stayed up until 2 am last night chit chatting, big mistake. He went up stairs to get in the bath and then yelled down that after he got out he wanted my help to cut his hair. Our last efforts to cut his hair were very favorable, on par with barber shop quality. Quite astounding given that our 4-5 previous attempts have not ended well. I get excited and big headed that I am a master hair dresser, take over the whole process, and then muck everything up. With the successful hair cut, I just left Nate alone to do his own thing, and then when he needed my help, I let him instruct me on every little detail and calmly followed. Today when he yelled at my body on the couch, a part of me reentered consciousness enough to say I would help him, then realizing my state of mind to be unfit for a task requiring so much finesse, I then yell mumbled to him to go to the barber. He didn't listen. So I dozed in and out on the couch, then moved upstairs to the bed so I was already up there when he needed me. I dozed off a few more times until he was done with the front and needed me to do the back. I stumbled red eyed into the bathroom and he handed me the clippers. He had free handed his taper and was trying to explain how to do it, I didn't get it and said I liked using the comb. I took off the piece on the clippers that was serving as a guide so it was down to the cutting part. I started to taper using the comb, I was going really fast and Nate told me to slow down, I gave him some tude, and he asked what was wrong with me, I told him I was tired and he told me not to worry about helping him and just go lay down, but I was doing a pretty good job and was almost done. As I looked it all over I wanted to pull the taper line up just a tad so I zipped up his hair...but had forgotten I removed the guide and shaved the hair to the scalp. I said a swear word, thrust everything to the counter, and walked out. Nate examined the bald spot said some swear words, tried some damage control by cutting the hair shorter and retapering the whole thing, but he looked like a mushroom. This has happened before and Nate became the center of much teasing at work. So he shaved it off today, as he did the day he came home after being teased so much the last time we...I...botched his hair. He has such a nice shaped head, and he has always looked good bald, but he likes his hair, and he does look better with it. The worst part of it all is how cold his head is going to be.

Elevator Belly Button

I haven't had much to write about lately! I am getting so big, and still can't believe I am pregnant! It seems like I just got done with all this stuff. I am a lot more tired this pregnancy, probably because I chase Claralynne around all day! I am a ton bigger at this point than I was with her too. Everything I read says your weight gain and size of your tummy aren't very good indications of your baby's size, I am really hoping that is true, otherwise I think this little guy could be a behemoth. I have heard that each baby will likely be at a few onces heavier than the last, so I guess he will be bigger than 8 pounds, which is kind of scary, Claralynne wasn't exactly a breeze to get out! I am hoping he will be like 8 pounds 7 ounces, then he will be a good size baby, but not to hard to get out, since I already had an 8 pounder!

When I was pregnant with Claralynne I had really severe morning sickness, then it all went away around my fifth month. With this pregnancy, I have been pretty queasy, but it's been mild enough I easily blamed it on the Depo Provera in the beginning, a lot of woman get morning sickness like symptoms when they are first on it. Sadly the queasiness hasn't gone away like it did with Claralynne, it has sort of hung around, and in the mornings when I haven't eaten aything, I feel like I just got off a spinning ride. My Mom says it was similar when she was pregnant with my brother, not really severe morning sickness in the first few months, just queasiness throughout the whole pregnancy, even for a little while after he was born. It is definitely different, honestly I would rather have a little bit of queasiness for a longer period of time, than unbearable puking and nausea for a short time.

My parents bought their tickets to come down for James' birth. It will have been a year since I saw them last, when they get here! It makes me so sad, Clara changes so quickly, they miss so much of her life in that amount of time, it really breaks my heart. We are also planning a trip to Utah at the end of August. Nathan's brother Seth and his wife Shari are expecting their third baby at the end of August, so we are hoping to get there in time.

We bought another XBOX 360, we got one when they first came out, but Nate sold it to buy the laptop I am addicted to, so I am glad he did it. He has regretted selling the XBOX though, probably because the XBOX was his toy and when he sold it for another toy, I stole it, then he didn't have a toy anymore. I fell in love with Guitar Hero when I was in Utah last time, Seth and Shari had it and we played for hours! So that is one of the games we bought, it is a lot of fun! We also got Halo 3, which we have already passed, a game called Assasin's Creed, Nate passed yesterday, and we passed the Guitar Hero the same day we passed Halo! So we haven't had the XBOX even a week and already we have passed all our games! So sad. This is what people in Upper Peninsula, Michigan do in the Winter time, a whole lot of NOTHING! I don't mind though, Spring and Summer will be here soon and there is so much to look forward to!

P.S. My belly button sticks out like an elevator button, and like a kid, I can't help pushing it over and over! Watch when my due date comes around I will be pushing it every other minute! Going down, going down! Get the heck out of the elevator!!!!