Saturday, March 29

Claralynne's Birth

I am not certain if anyone will want to view this footage but I thought I would mention it is available. I am in an upright position and have a t-shirt on, so there is very little nudity, there is blood though.

I think it is pretty amazing footage, and really great for those people who want to see what a birth out of a hospital setting is like, or if they would like to see my little angel come into this world!
Here is the link.

It is the second part of the footage, the first is also available, you see my white bumb in it though :)

Tuesday, March 25

Scary Dream

Well I was preparing to write a blog about how excited I was that the snow on my porch had receded, we were finally able to free the dog leash from the ice, I am looking at seeds for the planting season, and laying out the garden in my mind, it seemed spring was on its way. Sadly there is a blizzard outside now, so there goes that blog. Dang it! My friend says that's usually how it works, right when you think spring is here, there is one last big storm. I hope this is it.

On another note, I have learned not to trust my dreams during pregnancy, but this one was particularly, unnerving and upsetting. A little background for the dream is needed for those of you not in my family. A few years ago, my cousin Brandon's two year old daughter, Alexis, got away from her Mom Marie, and him while they were shopping. They wandered all around the store in search of her, when Brandon went to go look outside, to his and Marie's horror, Alexis had wandered outside, and was hit by a car. She died later that evening.

In my dream, Nate, me, Claralynne and my parents were at Wal-mart, shopping for a new fridge. Nathan purchased one that was inexpensive, and way to small, in the sense that it was not deep enough to fit a casserole, it was only like six inches deep. So I decided I would look harder and find a better one. I did, it was a modern design, pea soup green, and had a bunch of drawers, a water dispenser, ice dispenser, and a snow cone maker! Nate agreed it was a better fridge than the one he picked, so we exchanged them. Then we were shopping some more and I told some one, supposedly a friend, to grab some more linkable toys for Claralynne, since those are her favorite. Side note: Claralynne has a habit, it is silly, if she has something that you don't want her to have, she will run away with it as fast as she possibly can. So in the dream we are getting a box of the linkable toys, and she grabbed it and took off. I ran after her, but she was a lot faster than me because I was so pregnant. She ran out the door and towards the street. I was running after her and screaming her name every way I could think, in a nice way, a scared way, mean, nothing stopped her. She kept running towards the busy street, she got way head of me, there was a fence separating the parking lot and the street but she was almost to the end of it. In the dream I was thinking she was going to get hit like Alexis. I was screaming and screaming trying to catch her, but I was just too pregnant, then just before she got to the street, I saw Brandon running as fast as he could out the doors at the other end of the store after Claralynne, he got to her just before she ran into the street, and I just collapsed onto the ground sobbing hysterically, thinking about what had just been so narrowly averted. Then I woke up, and new I would never get back to sleep. It was awful. I think when Alexis passed away, it took it very hard, it was the closest I have ever been to tragedy. Now that I have kids, it has effected me that much more, especially now that she is getting to that age, and she does run away, she can get away from me. It is the scariest thing, I have so much to loose. I have never felt so vulnerable.