Saturday, June 7

For Your Viewing

Just going to put up a whole ton of pictures. I am feeling a little better today. It really is life back to normal. What a bummer, and yet not, having two kids is so busy, and fun, I am just such a blessed lady.

Friday, June 6

Whole Hole

In pondering the day, the strange warmth despite thunder and rain, I came to wonder about these two words, whole, and hole. The same sounding word and yet complete opposites. I feel both now, and wonder how that is possible.

In the hole I feel this.I hate knowing returning to "normal" means, returning to my life where they are too far away to touch, there is nothing normal in it.

Yet in the whole I feel this.And this.
I suppose I am well balanced, a yin and yang of sorts. I am like the weather today, fat rain pouring down, thunder pounding, like the tears in my eyes and the break of my heart, but the day was warm and bright, like the infant in my arms, and the toddler at my feet, the family Nathan and I have made. Gloomy and blissful all at once. To my everlasting happiness it is all love, the circle of the yin-yang. Balance has never been so overwhelming and confusing, but I suppose that is true for all love.

Thursday, June 5


Sorry it has been so long, I have been enjoying my family, my new baby, my parents. My parents are leaving in about six hours. I feel like bursting, I want to crawl out of my body and into a corner, I hurt so bad. I feel sick with missing them already. I think I have been missing them for so long, not even their constant presence for 2 weeks has been enough to cure the ache. I am trying hard to keep from crying over and over, holding back my tears makes my head hurt, crying makes my head hurt. Ouch just says it all. My Mom and I have been picture mad and I have about 500 to pick and choose from. I will do that when I am not quite so tender. James is doing really well. He has gained about 2 pounds. He is finally kicking his jaundice and looking a lot less like an oompa loompa. He has some conjunctivitis he is also trying to kick, but it is getting better as well. Again I will right more, when I am not such a mess, and have a spare hand....which could be a while, all things considered.