Thursday, August 14


This is my third niece. Isn't she pretty? I now have three nieces and and one nephew. We got the message she was born last night. I cried, I wish I could tell you is was because I was happy, and it was a little, but mostly it was because I felt such a loss. I am so tired of feeling like I am missing out on life, I am tired of people missing out on ours. Nathan and I have missed out on countless weddings, graduations, births. The best events life has to offer, the best events to share, go unshared on both sides. It makes me so terribly sad, I feel helpless. I want to give Shari a hug and tell her in person what a great Mama I think she is. I want to pat Seth on the back, I want to hold that brand new baby, I want to take part in their happiness, witness the joy in their eyes as they celebrate the birth of their third daughter. I want to go to my in laws house and feel the happiness and excitement in the air, but I can't, and this is the third family member I will go months maybe over a year, without seeing. I wish I had known everything we would miss out on when we joined the Coast Guard. All I can do is pray when Nathan's enlistment is up, we will be able to go home.

Wednesday, August 13

Look What I Got!

Oh so adorable!


Since childhood I have listened to Joni Mitchell. She makes me miss my Mama. I always thought she had the most perfect voice, I have drawn so much inspiration from her. I sang one of her songs, Big Yellow Taxi, for a talent show in elementary, my Dad accompanied me, and I was so proud. I can remember practicing with him, I can remember the performance, he accompanied my sister as well, she sang Do Re Mi I was just so proud, together the three of us stole the show.

There are so many reasons my love for Joni runs so deep. She wrote a spectacular song called Both Sides Now when she was my age, the lyrics are so genius. It seems she is almost too young to have such insight into love and life. She rerecorded it later in life and I think the new version has the corresponding wisdom to the lyrics. What do you think?



Monday, August 11