Wednesday, January 28

Lonely Luggage

I have arrived. I didn't cry when I saw my parents there at the gate of my flight, I laughed. There was my Mother beckoning Claralynne, Clara stopped in her tracks four feet from my Mother's awaiting arms. You could see the ponder surrounding her little blond head, "I know this do I know this lady....?" then it hit her and she ran in for the hug at full speed, it was precious. My Dad quickly swept James out of my arms and we spent the next hour and a half leaving the airport. Halfway through the drive from the airport to the house, I realized I had not personally received a hug, and was delighted to know that my children were so very loved by these two people they could possibly forget to put their arms around me! It was a day of extremes. Extremely long trip, extremely happy arrival, up extremely late, to bed extremely tired, all worth the look on my Brother's face when he grabbed up the first boy in the family since himself.

A word on traveling alone with two small children....never mind I am at a loss for a single word that captures the magnitude of....and I am at a loss for another word to describe the feelings. So here are multiple words: Stressful, exhausting, crowded, loud, embarrassing, heavy, slow, hot, uncomfortable and very very long.

Here are some fun things that happened: My children both screamed a lot, and this is long before the flight even took off. In snowed in Denver so the pilot decided we might need to divert to Washington D.C. YAY! Oh wait never mind, we aren't going to divert we are just not going to take any luggage, 5 minutes before we lift off I have an epiphany "NOT EVEN MY CAR SEATS!?" so we got delayed about ten minutes more on top of the 30 we had already been waiting. I could feel the glares from the passengers surrounding me, like I had a choice about it all..."It's alright never mind I will just hold them both for the two hour drive home in the snow, I am sure we will be fine." Sheesh. My luggage got delivered to the house the next day, but I spent the entire flight stressing about how I was going to get my bags, which was a pain, you can imagine. I don't know why they couldn't take them, something about bad weather, fuel, and got me.

It is my husbands birthday today and he is spending it all alone. That makes me cry a little inside. He is 24.

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday my dear love....

Thursday, January 22


I recently found out, I have had a sinus infection for over a year....and I am do you miss something like that? Isn't the always getting sick, never better for more than a week, antibiotics don't fix it, even when given intravenously, and so on, all pretty obvious clues? My Mother kept telling me she thought there was something more to all of it, when I would get better from my current cold, only to jump right back into Kleenex, Sinex and vapor rub a week later. But who can trust their Mom to be on the look out for their health right? Especially those that are nurses. DA UHH! The epiphany moment was an interesting experience. Here is me, many swear words floating through my brain bouncing off my congested sinuses, "Holy Mother of Toast. I have been sick three times this month....does it get any worse than that? Do I know anyone who has been sick three times in a month? I am thinkin' not...wasn't I sick last month too...hmm maybe my blog will tell me....yup I was sick last month too.....hmmm as well as the month before....OH YEAH! Remember when you got back from Utah, you were sick like three months straight....and when you were almost due to have James, you really didn't want to still be sick when you went into labor....and you were....and.......holy crap, how long has this been going on!!!!! Oh my farts for the love of January!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING?" And so forth.

Now I get to take a real boxing champ of an antibiotic for a month. 21. Days ! I am terrible at remembering to take drugs, why don't they make them addictive????? Hello!!!! SAL OOO TION! Not really. But really, anyone have any suggestions? It has been a day and a half since I got the script and I have already forgotten to take pills once today....I blame my congested rhinocerosinsitusauruses.

I also have to tell of the fabulous word I made up while conversing with my cousin Tiff a while ago. Whilst chiding her for having not read the Twilight series yet, I proclaimed that such blasphemy was sacreadigious HA HA HA HA HA!

And this is Aubrey on sleep deprivation.

Tuesday, January 20

At Play

When I got pregnant with James, I was very afraid. I had thought we were ready for Claralynne, and I realized later that though we were ready enough, we could have stood to be more ready. With James I did not feel any of us were ready at all. I was not ready to have to divide my time and not be able to give Claralynne as much attention, nor did I feel she was ready for that, she was still a baby. I didn't want to give up nursing her. I wasn't ready for our lives, just having reached some from of organization, to be up heaved and thrown back to square one. I remember when I would feel overwhelmed at the thought of all these things looming in the near future, I would comfort myself by imagining what great friends Clara and the new baby would be. I would picture them playing together, our family growing. I tried to amp myself up with thoughts of Clara and James being wonderful playmates.

My Mom has often told me that a large reason she wanted Heather was so I would have someone to play with, so I adopted this mentality, and I felt a lot better about the unplanned baby. Of course all the things that I feared did indeed happen. I did give up nursing Clara, sooner than I had wanted, my time with her did become instantly divided, and our little family of three got turned upside down when we became four. I was afraid I couldn't love the new baby as much as I loved Claralynne, the moment I saw his vernixy little face, I realized what a silly thought that had been. Now eight months later, so many things that I had tried to comfort myself with, all those fun imaginary play time scenarios are my everyday real life. They do play so well together. We can see how much James adores Claralynne, when she giggles he giggles, sometimes he giggles at her for no reason at all. When she is dragging him across the floor by his feet, he is in seventh heaven, Clara isn't very good at sharing but he doesn't mind. They are great friends, I didn't imagine that. I hope it stays, they wont always get along I know, but I hope they are the kind of siblings who lean on each other, go to each other when no one else understands. I hope they can always enjoy each other as they do now.

Here are some fun playtime photos.

Wednesday, January 14

John Williams

I have to further my last post. At the end of the song in the video, "John Williams is the man!" is sang with exclamation. I had no idea what an extraordinary composer he is. He composed every theme song used in the Star Wars video, which where the following, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Indiana Jones, Superman, E.T., Jaws and Jurassic Park. This was enough to floor me, but when I wiki-ed him, I was even further astonished. This man is probably one of the most influential composers of our time. Not only did he compose all those themes, but many other of the themes people most readily identify with. Aside from the entire Star Wars score, including the series' most recent three, including the chilling choir piece everyone loves to try and screech! He also composed the score for the first three Harry Potter films, including, of course the theme now synonymous with the films. The list of scores he has composed goes on and on. The entire score for Schindler's list, Home Alone, Hook, Seven years in Tibet, Amistad, Saving Private Ryan, Memoirs of a Geisha, Munich, as well as adapting the score for the film version of Fiddler on the Roof. If that wasn't enough for you, he has also composed for 4 Olympics, 1984, 1988, 1996 and naturally 2002! He has won 20 Grammys, 4 Golden Globes, and 7 Academy Awards and 40 Academy Award nominations. He shares being the second most nominated individual with Alfred Newman another very impressive composer. Who is the first you ask? Well Walt Disney of course!

John Williams really is the man!

Tuesday, January 13

Star Wars

I keep posting all these videos! But this is seriously the coolest thing ever. Should put some videos up of my kids eh? Or at least some photos, man am I lame. An E ways. Maybe some updates....Put Clara in a big girl bed, and had NO problems! Except having to jail her to her room....having thoughts of Kateka.....also got James' room all set up and he is in the crib, which is a huge relief! I am headed off to Denver in a few weeks to stay with my family for a while, get my fill of them for the next year streak I got missing them :( Not sure when I am going to come back but somewhere in the vicinity of a month to a month and a half. I can't even tell you how excited I am to just sit with my Gramma and watch T.V. while she holds my little man, or lay in bed with Mom and Dad, relaxing to Pride and Predjudice, I know we will do it, and it makes me bubble up with happy inside!

Monday, January 12

Julie Andrews and Carol Burnett

This makes me smile and giggle! You gotta watch through to the end, and watch both!

For you Mom and Dad.

Here is some fun info, about these two great ladies!

Julie Andrews was born Julia Elizabeth Wells. She took on the surname Andrews when she left her Father's care and joined her Mother and Step-Father Barbra and Ted Andrews. In her early years Julia acquired perfect pitch, an ability shared with people such as Frank Sinatra, Barbra Streisand, Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles.

Julie, was the original Eliza Doolittle, in the Broadway musical My Fair Lady, but was - to her dismay - denied the role on film because she lacked the proper amount of fame to secure a box office hit. The role was given instead, to Audrey Hepburn who had never made a cinematic flop. That year Julie received a Golden Globe nomination for best actress in a lead role, for every ones favorite nanny, Mary Poppins. Audrey Hepburn was nominated as well, for her role as Eliza Doolittle. Julie went home with the Golden Globe and an Academy Award for best actress, an award, Audrey Hepburn was not even nominated for. In Julie's famous acceptance speech for the Golden Globe, Julie said "My thanks to a man who made a wonderful movie, and who made all this possible in the first place, Mr. Jack Warner." Jack Warner was the head of Warner Brothers Studios, and had been the one to deny Julie the role of Eliza, allowing her to go on to make Mary Poppins and movie history.

Carol Burnett a Hollywood native born in Texas, started her college career as a Journalism major, with much encouragement from her alcoholic Mother. Carol quickly changed her mind and turned her energy towards theater and English, in the hopes of becoming a play write. During her pursuit she quickly fell in love with performance, having been in many productions at the University of California, Los Angeles. In hopes of perusing acting further she and her boyfriend packed up for New York, with the generous funding from an early and faithful fan, they met at a cocktail party. One thousand dollars in hand, she made her way to New York, and onto the stage. From the stage, in shows, such as Julie and Carol at Carnegie Hall, co-starring Julie Andrews, Carol rose to the small screen. She made fast friends with Lucille ball, who also became an influential mentor. Lucille sent flowers to Carol for her birthday every year, including Carol's 56th, which was also the day Lucille Ball died. The note in the flowers said "Happy Birthday, Kid. Love, Lucy."

Carol went on to make her wildly praised and hilarious Carol Burnett Show, despite the networks disbelief a female could be successful with a variety show. Probably most memorable from the Burnett show was the homage Carol paid at the end of each show, to her Grandmother who raised her. Carol would sing her goodnight song, and close with a tug on her left ear, this was a sign to her Grandmother, she was doing well and that she loved her, a tradition Carol carried on, tearfully at times, even after her Grandmother's passing. After the end of the Burnett show, Carol went on to make a few films including my favorite Annie, where she played the cantankerous role of Miss Hannigan. Today Carol is 75, she lives in Hawaii and Santa Fe. I imagine she draws cartoons, in her spare time.

Wednesday, January 7

White Chicken Chili

I cook a lot. I don't know if I have ever mentioned that. I think I have gotten pretty fair at it. I got a great recipe from a friend, it is so easy and delicious it needed mentioning. Recipes like this are very flexible, use more or less of pretty much everything, follow your taste buds!

White Chicken Chili

48 oz. Jar Northern Beans
4 Chicken breasts
2-3 cups shredded Cheddar cheese, colby jack what ever you have!
1 Jar salsa
Mexican spice - recipe below. LOVE this, use it a ton, but season your chicken how you like it!
1 small can green chilies - for a kick if you want it.
Chili powder to taste

Mexican Spice Blend

1 tb Chili powder
1 ts Cayenne pepper
1 1/2 ts Cumin
1 tb Oregano leaves
1 1/2 ts Onion powder
1/2 ts Coriander
1 ts Crushed red pepper flakes
1 tb Garlic powder
1 tb Black pepper

Blend ingredients together.

Season your chicken with the Mexican spice and bake until done, about 30 minutes. Shred and add to your crock pot with beans, cheese, salsa, and chilies, I also added a bit of sour cream, put it in, leave it out, dollop on top when your ready to eat, whatever! Season to taste with the chili powder, stir well. Cook on low 7-8 hours, high 4-5. This can also be done on stove top just mix it all up and heat through.

Monday, January 5

State Farm

I have turned into one of those women. The women who get all choked up over commercials. I really love this one, it gives me chills, I am such a sap!

James is still fine, no more blood came up after that one time. I didn't sleep very well, and had to fight off the urge to go and check on him every 30 minutes. I did keep reliving it, I couldn't get the image of the vomit in my hands, stained with blood, his face red as his body heaved to get it out. The images feel like wooden splinters in my brain.

When a friend was here with her family her little one year old choked on a cracker. She was heaving and puking, choking, working to get it out, and there were her parents calm as fallen snow, I am panicked and so upset afterwards I sobbed. The Mom, Melissa, came to watch Claralynne yesterday while we went to the E.R. As we waited -way to long- for the ambulance I was so mad, shaking and swearing, she had to kept telling me to try and calm down, I am surprised she didn't slap me across the face and tell me to "get a grip!". When her daughter choked it had been over a year since Claralynne had her choking event, I realized I was not over it then, not by a long shot. Now I have two of these to burden my mind, heart, and spirit. I suspect I wont ever recover, but that is the way of a really bad experience I have found, you never fully get over it, at least for many bad experiances, I haven't yet. Maybe that is just me.

Sunday, January 4

Never Can Think of a Title for These

James choked. Trying to get it out, sweeping his mouth, turned him towards the ground. Vomited twice, then blood, about the size a quarter. 911....again. Glass shard comes out, was from a Christmas ornament Clara broke earlier, didn't get it all off the floor, about the size of a dime, sharp. Ambulance.....again.....hours in the ER....again, X-rays...tears...more tears. Bad Mom, awful Mom. James fine.

Wont get any sleep tonight. Will uncontrollably relive it over and over.

For the agains see here.

Friday, January 2

Let me 'splain, no there is too much...Let me sum up

As prompted by Kateka last January to recap my year, I am copying yet again.

Funnest Event:
It was one of the neatest most adventurous days, not only of the year, but of my life.

Our trip home, getting to see much missed family and friends.

Biggest purchase of 2008:
Our new car, I didn't want to buy it, but we had to.

Favorite movies of 2008: In no particular order

It was a good year for movies!

But my most favorite of all was a movie now dear to my heart as Anne of Green Gables.

I will watch this film over and over and over and over and over, for the rest of my life.

Least favorite movie of 2008:
This was released last year, but we didn't see it until this year, and wow, one of the worst films EVER!

The movie that Didn't. Show. Up. Four letter words....lots of them. It makes me so mad.

And last...




If I am going to be honest here, in a year of spectacular cinema, I was vehemently underwhelmed by this film. I am hopeful the next will be up to par.

Favorite celebrity for 2008:
She is just darn cute, and amazingly talented. I can't wait to see what she has in store.

For my favorite movie this year.

Least favorite celebrity:
Everytime I see a photo my stomach is in knots and I tear up. So, my least favorite this year, because it just makes me too sad and I don't want to be sad.

Best Read of 2008 (New addition by Aubrey):

Best Photos I took this year (New addition by Kateka)

Worst photo taken of me in 2008 (New addition by Kateka):


Best photo taken of me in 2008 (New addition by Aubrey):

Guilty Pleasure:
Always chocolate(2007 answer)...nothings changed.

Saddest moment of 2008:
When my parents had to go home.
Leaving Utah
Missing my family 24/7.

Sickest moment of 2008:
My admittance to the hospital, it was the sickest I have ever been, and the closest to death.

Favorite song of 2008:
Passing Afternoon, Iron and Wine
You can listen to it below, if you aren't already.

Least favorite song of 2008:
There must not have been any this year because nothing comes to mind. I don't listen to much radio though.

Biggest event:
Births: James' Spencer's Brielle's
Arthur's Marriage
Kiana's long awaited pregnancy

Giving birth naturally again
Learning to knit and crochet
Being a Mother of two

Lessons Learned:
A clean house isn't everything

In 1 word 2008 was:
Busy, as predicted

In 1 word 2009 will be:
Busy again, and full of laughs and love

My hopes for next year:
Nathan becomes Petty Officer 2nd Class (didn't happen this year)
We all stay out of the hospital

Thanks for this again Kateka!

To the few of you who read my blog, copy and paste this! I want to see how your year was!