Thursday, January 22


I recently found out, I have had a sinus infection for over a year....and I am do you miss something like that? Isn't the always getting sick, never better for more than a week, antibiotics don't fix it, even when given intravenously, and so on, all pretty obvious clues? My Mother kept telling me she thought there was something more to all of it, when I would get better from my current cold, only to jump right back into Kleenex, Sinex and vapor rub a week later. But who can trust their Mom to be on the look out for their health right? Especially those that are nurses. DA UHH! The epiphany moment was an interesting experience. Here is me, many swear words floating through my brain bouncing off my congested sinuses, "Holy Mother of Toast. I have been sick three times this month....does it get any worse than that? Do I know anyone who has been sick three times in a month? I am thinkin' not...wasn't I sick last month too...hmm maybe my blog will tell me....yup I was sick last month too.....hmmm as well as the month before....OH YEAH! Remember when you got back from Utah, you were sick like three months straight....and when you were almost due to have James, you really didn't want to still be sick when you went into labor....and you were....and.......holy crap, how long has this been going on!!!!! Oh my farts for the love of January!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING?" And so forth.

Now I get to take a real boxing champ of an antibiotic for a month. 21. Days ! I am terrible at remembering to take drugs, why don't they make them addictive????? Hello!!!! SAL OOO TION! Not really. But really, anyone have any suggestions? It has been a day and a half since I got the script and I have already forgotten to take pills once today....I blame my congested rhinocerosinsitusauruses.

I also have to tell of the fabulous word I made up while conversing with my cousin Tiff a while ago. Whilst chiding her for having not read the Twilight series yet, I proclaimed that such blasphemy was sacreadigious HA HA HA HA HA!

And this is Aubrey on sleep deprivation.

Tuesday, January 20

At Play

When I got pregnant with James, I was very afraid. I had thought we were ready for Claralynne, and I realized later that though we were ready enough, we could have stood to be more ready. With James I did not feel any of us were ready at all. I was not ready to have to divide my time and not be able to give Claralynne as much attention, nor did I feel she was ready for that, she was still a baby. I didn't want to give up nursing her. I wasn't ready for our lives, just having reached some from of organization, to be up heaved and thrown back to square one. I remember when I would feel overwhelmed at the thought of all these things looming in the near future, I would comfort myself by imagining what great friends Clara and the new baby would be. I would picture them playing together, our family growing. I tried to amp myself up with thoughts of Clara and James being wonderful playmates.

My Mom has often told me that a large reason she wanted Heather was so I would have someone to play with, so I adopted this mentality, and I felt a lot better about the unplanned baby. Of course all the things that I feared did indeed happen. I did give up nursing Clara, sooner than I had wanted, my time with her did become instantly divided, and our little family of three got turned upside down when we became four. I was afraid I couldn't love the new baby as much as I loved Claralynne, the moment I saw his vernixy little face, I realized what a silly thought that had been. Now eight months later, so many things that I had tried to comfort myself with, all those fun imaginary play time scenarios are my everyday real life. They do play so well together. We can see how much James adores Claralynne, when she giggles he giggles, sometimes he giggles at her for no reason at all. When she is dragging him across the floor by his feet, he is in seventh heaven, Clara isn't very good at sharing but he doesn't mind. They are great friends, I didn't imagine that. I hope it stays, they wont always get along I know, but I hope they are the kind of siblings who lean on each other, go to each other when no one else understands. I hope they can always enjoy each other as they do now.

Here are some fun playtime photos.